Florida Code

 
  • When giving directions in Florida, you must always start with the words, „take I-75, „take I-4 „or „take I-95.“
  • If you’re a snowbird or a non-working retiree, you absolutely cannot drive between the hours of 6 A.M. to 10 A.M. and 4 P.M. to 7 P.M. This is considered to be RUSH HOUR and you are not in any rush. NO EXCEPTIONS.
  • Freeways can only go north and south . . . Not east and west.
  • Tolls are a fact of life, the state has to make money, so deal with it!
  • I-275 ( Tampa area) will always be under construction … that’s the law and there is nothing anyone can do about it, period!
  • ‚A1A‘ and ‚Alt. A1A‘ are the same road.
  • Traffic lights are not timed and never will be.
  • We measure the distance we travel in time – not miles.
  • If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in any part of Florida without seeing an orange barricade, you’re lost!
  • If you miss your exit on I-75, I-4 or I-275, its perfectly acceptable to back up!
  • Every street in Florida has both a name and a number (i.e. Adamo = Rt. 60) just for the heck of it — and also for the pleasure we get from reaction of visitors when we give them directions.
  • Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection eight more go through on yellow, and 4 more on red.
  • Know the difference between SunPass, Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinel and Sun Trust.
  • Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as business casual .
  • Your car’s signal blinker means nothing.
  • English is our first and second language.
  • It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your emergency generator.
  • We have alligators here in Florida and they WILL bite you. Don’t be stupid and try to feed or pet one.
  • When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advance warning and you are told to be prepared, you’re not a true Floridian unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Publix to stock up water, ice, and potato chips.
  • You know how to spell Okeechobee. There is an Okeechobee Lake, Town, County, Blvd, Street, and Avenue.
  • A true Floridian does NOT own a boat. They make friends with someone who already owns one. That way you don’t have to deal with any of the headaches.
  • You weren’t born here. If you were, you’re angry that everyone else has moved here.
  • There’s always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on nearly every corner – with more being built every day.
  • When picking up a woman on South Beach, always check for an Adams apple.
  • It’s normal to sweat when you are putting up your holiday decorations.
  • There is a city called ‚The Villages‘ where 87,000 old people live that all drive golf carts and dance in the streets. 50% of these people are swingers ; the rest just got too old to care about it. (They have the highest number of cases of VD/STD in the state)
  • Jupiter is a city, not a planet.
  • Seniors have to do their errands during the weekdays . . not weeknights or weekends . . that’s for the working folks.
  • There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and also a football team.
  • You can’t say; ‚this is how we did it up north‘. If you think that way, then go back up north. Just remember, I-95 and I-75 run both ways.
  • No matter what they decide in Tallahassee you will never, ever be able to figure out your property taxes.
  • Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 95 degrees outside. But inside any restaurant or business it’s 65 degrees.
  • This would be even funnier if it weren’t so true
 Posted by at 9:05 pm